Grandpastoring

     I haven’t been out here for awhile, so I thought I would check back in.  Some new developments have emerged and we have been a little pre-occupied in recent months.  Actually, our pre-occupations have names — Hatcher and Jak.  They are our two grandsons.  My perception has always been that grandchildren would make me feel older (whatever that is supposed to feel like).  But the opposite has been true.  When I am around those little guys, all consciousness of time seems to disappear.  There is nowhere I would rather be than making goofy faces or funny noises with the two little boys who are the best evidence that Kim and I actually got it right in what matters most.  Yes, I realize that we had nothing directly to do with bringing either of them into the world and we have nothing directly to do with how they turn out.  And that is precisely what makes “grandparenting” so cool.  They are someone else’s responsibility.

     It was hard for me and Kim to imagine how we could love anything or anyone as much as we have our own children.  Maybe it’s just been so long since they entered the world that we forget what it was like, but there is something so unique and so special to this relationship we enjoy with our children’s children.  And I have been thinking about how it might be applied to ministry and the remainder of my life in leadership.  It’s taken these few months to define what “it” is.  “It” is the awareness that the very purity of our love for Hatcher and Jak derives from the fact that we feel none of the pressure to effect the outcome of their lives.  It is our children’s turn to go to bed with that pressure!  Our job is simply to love those little boys (and girls one day, we hope).  In the midst, I am realizing that grandparenting is a lot closer to what parenting ought to be than we are willing to admit.  The pressure most parents feel to produce perfect kids is really unnecessary (not to mention other expressions like nauseating or self-obsessed).  Somehow we ignore that our children already have a Parent who loves them more than we do and knows what is best for their lives.  In reality, while parenting exposes our lack of trust in God, grandparenting gives us a second chance to remember Who our Real Parent is.  And it’s pretty neat, too, to see our kids being great parents in spite of the pressure and realize that we got it a lot more right than we ever dreamed–all because our Parent did a better job on us than we ever gave Him credit for.  Is this making any sense?  Probably not. 

     As I played with Hatcher one day recently I realized that in the course of “doing ministry” over 15 years as a pastor, I too easily forget how to play.  Why?  Because I have assumed too much of the pressure for how the church turns out.  I sometimes forget that the people I am called to serve and lead already have a Parent.  My primary job is just to roll around on the floor with them.  Of course, it is still my responsibility to make sure they come in on time, know how to be nice, and care about someone other than themselves, but the outcome is ultimately not up to me.  And as only a Pop-Pop can know, that is really comforting.

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